Comments on: Call It What It Is — MALE Violence Against Women

By: Sumitra

Sumitra — Thu, 27 Dec 2012 21:23:34 +0000

Most of the radical feminists I knew turned out to be very suck-sessful or comfortable white woman who wrote a lot about partriarchy but didn’t realize? that they/we are all in it. Or they just made sure they were comfortable in it while railing against it.
During the early 1980′s I really believed and took to heart and bone what Sonia Johnson had written and espoused about forming communities so as to divest ourselves to the largest extent possible from this society so that we wouldn’t have to depend on the system. Well, not all of us can be suck-sessful writers and or marry a partner who can afford to buy land in Arizona or any where for that matter.
“Women and children” includes boy children, who grow up to be men and they need to know who they are. I personally feel that boys/men have a much more difficult time under partriarchy.
They have just as much emotion as girls/women but are not allowed to express it until it erupts in extreme physical violence. They suffer a lot of violence within their gender. The partriarchy is a very brutal world for them also. I did not really get this at the time as I was so convinced of my “righteousness” of living the life of integrity within this “pornographic mind set” system (see Susan Griffin’s–”Pornography and Silence–Cultures revenge against Nature”).
I can understand your anger and underlying frustration with the system…I exist in it and depend on it (welfare) every day as now I am home bound and disabled with no family and a son who is perpetually angry that I did not socialize him and brought him up to be “sensitive”. He suffered/suffers greatly and so do the women around him. I ended up becoming the very thing that I detested.
I never understood it when Susan Griffin wrote: “It is the nature of rebellion to become that which you rebellion against”.
It took me awhile to get that-[I was so very angry that she even wrote that! For how else can we fight against this system! Doesn't all change come from someone standing up and rebelling against a wrong?] But it is what happened to me in my zeal and mission to “raise” a whole human male being–I became hardened and resentful to my own son. I did not have the means to raise up a boy in this world by myself and all the women I turned to where just struggling to make their own lives themselves with their partners and children.
My background was working class from the mid west, I grew up working hard from a very early age. Later, I became very ill with a severe chronic disease that finally was diagnosed in my 30′s and that had precipitated from a severe childhood disease. I ended up completely dependent on welfare (then known as AFDC) which is the epidomy of patricarchy and very harsh. My son and I lived under constant stress, and always on the edge.
I am not sure after 58 years of existence what one can do about patriarchy, since it is based on such selfishness and the way down deep fear of not being cared for and of “not getting mine”. From my view point the only possible way is for understanding people to really really take care of each other…and given this culture that is hard for even the most dedicated person to do…esp. the more comfortable people. I find it is usually the people that aren’t all that well off that help each other.
As far as the system goes, maybe things will be coming to a head soon given the huge disparities in wealth and the ever widening gap between class. It will be important then to really have things to change to. Maybe people will see what is of real “value” in a society…where a high value will be placed on care giving, teaching, parenting,etc. And if there still is a monetary system–paying the aforementioned positions 6 figure salaries.

By: Jacqueline S. Homan

Jacqueline S. Homan — Thu, 27 Dec 2012 13:52:24 +0000

I’ll tell you what kind of world that is: a patriarchal one. I also did not write this article. Another radical feminist did and I featured it as a guest post on my blog because there is a lot of value in sharing this knowledge with other women. You’re right about patriarchy being embedded in women, and that women need to start helping and supporting other women and take responsibility for doing their part to dismantle patriarchy by helping other women. That is why I wrote my piece, “Women Who Care About Women Don’t Bat for Team Patriarchy.” I got an equal amount of praise and criticism for it. I think it struck a nerve. While radical feminists will never agree with each other on every single issue, one thing we all DO agree on is this: the patriarchy was created, maintained, and defended by men and they do it with the help of their handmaidens to the detriment of the overwhelming majority of women and children.

By: Sumitra

Sumitra — Wed, 26 Dec 2012 22:39:25 +0000

All well understood—but one thing most women don’t realize is how much the patriarchal “mind set”, behavior, or life way is also embedded in women. I used to hold to the tenants and ideas put forth in the above writing in my younger days. As a poor white single mom of a boy child I turned to many women for help, esp. some of the more prominent woman that wrote the books you mentioned in your article and as well as others. No one would help me. Women can write these eloquent elucidations on the state of patriarchy, but unless they are truly willing to form the hard working communities that support other women in their day to day struggles—this will not go far. I remember even begging Sonia Johnson if I could come down and just camp out on her property till I could get my feet on the ground. I was hard working and not a slough off….but I had gotten ill and needed a home. Sonia’s advice to me was to just give up my son…. to save yourself….what kind of a world is that?

By: feministsailor

feministsailor — Thu, 13 Sep 2012 17:12:12 +0000

Bravo!