Posts Tagged ‘feminism’
Rules never serve the interests of the poorest and most downtrodden and vulnerable. Be it “The Rules” of local, state and federal law, “The Rules” of qualifying for help from a charity or social service agency, or “The Rules” of qualifying for a good job, or “The Rules” outlined in a social justice/political activism movement, or “The Rules” of discourse in a Facebook group.
Like the very last radical feminist group I retained membership in but was just kicked out of per the “No Blocking of Other Members Rule” for refusing to unblock another member, Terri Strange—one of several prominent Internet radical feminists who spread libelous lies about me and completely trashed my fundraiser by calling me a “con artist” who was “running a scam” for being a poor sex trafficking survivor in desperate need of some financial help and support.
Ms. Strange was REPEATEDLY abusive, and one of the main parties that viciously slandered me all over social media for several months, ensuring that NO ONE would donate any badly needed money so I wouldn’t lose my home over being financially unable to comply with an order and a citation from the City of Erie Code Enforcement.
It didn’t matter that this same Facebook group also had a rule that said ALL women would have their right to participate in a safe and inclusive group and NOT be subjected to abuse or harassment and stalking/doxxing by other members. (Apparently, that doesn’t apply to women who are disprivileged sex trafficking survivors even though there are laws against slander and harassment.)
“The Rules” are completely circumvented by the privileged in their treatment of the poor marginalized woman who is a sex trafficking survivor who shows up on feminist groups’ doorsteps, expecting to be able to walk through the front door of the feminist movement and be treated like a full human being with unmet needs and concerns that actually matter. She gets told she is unwelcome because “We don’t serve your kind.”
“The Rules” in my state hold that a 13 yr old child who is raped by grown ass men are crime victims with a right to restorative justice and every conceivable social support imaginable. But “The Rules” did not apply when it came to protecting me because I was trafficked and forced into prostitution as a homeless orphaned 13 yr old. Instead, “The Rules” ensured that I as a trafficked homeless teen—NOT the grown ass men who bought rape tickets—got criminalized, ostracized and stigmatized FOR LIFE, and consequently being rendered unemployable for the better part of 30 years no matter what I did to improve my situation.
And now that this society is finally starting to see that women like me were actually crime victims and my record is finally being expunged at age 47, I am “too old” for ANY employer to want to hire at a good job with a stable salary and the health benefits I desperately need (but never EVER got to have). Gee, how convenient.
If I would have been a wrongly convicted male felon that got wrongfully imprisoned for 30 years before finally winning vindication and freedom, “The Rules” are that I would have legal right of redress. I would be entitled to sue the state of Pennsylvania for those 30 years of my stolen life, and anything I suffered as a result of it. Three decades of ALL job opportunities denied, and ALL the social opportunities and life experiences that middle class non-survivors take for granted as “normal” are things I was DENIED—things like being able to get my actual high school diploma at the same age as everybody else or go to the prom, get a toehold on the jobs ladder, build/establish credit, and prepare for a home and a partner and a family.
These are ALL things I never got to have because “The Rules” NEVER protected or served poor marginalized and unwanted women like me—they only ever served and benefited people with privilege.
If you didn’t have a life that entailed having to eat out of garbage cans for YEARS, getting your hands cut up foraging for scrap metal for salvage money just to NOT die from abject poverty, and DECADES of no access to medical and dental care due to total social/economic exclusion from even a chance for a job at McDogfood’s over a prostitution “past”—you’re privileged and NOT truly poor and oppressed compared to the destitute trafficking survivor with no family, trapped in chronic abject poverty, that never got a chance for anything after escaping commercial rape hell.
Because no matter how hard we work at rebuilding our lives and no matter how long we keep trying, people with privilege keep pulling the rug out from underneath our feet to KEEP us from ever getting a chance, and “The Rules” let them get away with it while punishing us for trying to speak out when they step all over us.
“The Rules” are nothing more than a mechanism of privilege transfer payments—a wealth and power protection racket that serves the haves at the expense of the have-nots.
One thing that being from generational poverty and being a trafficking survivor has taught me about ANY rules was this: Exclusions Apply.
Because “The Rules” NEVER serve the interests of the poor, disprivileged, and marginalized. They are never written to benefit us or protect us, and they are not enforced to do so. Instead, they are set up to keep us “in our place”—under the middle and upper class designer jackboot.
“The one thing I can tell you: when I was branded, when I was stabbed, when I was chained in a closet like an animal, and when I was held at gunpoint to dig my own shallow grave—all of those happened at the hands of the purchasers of sex.” ~ Christine McDonald, sex trafficking survivor and author of Cry Purple
Except for the branding part, I had experienced similar horrific torture and abuse from johns, too—and these johns ALL were men old enough to be my father, and even my grandfather. They had kids older than me who were in college, for fucks sake. And they were/are also those who make and benefit from “The Rules.”
And in my case, ALL of them were white and middle to upper-middle class and “respectable” members of society (most were police officers!), and they ALL knew I was under-aged and did NOT want to be where I was. They knew that “The Rules” make it illegal to force or coerce sex on someone else—including sex with 13 year old girls. But they didn’t care. Their money and their privileges entitled them to buy rape tickets and go on with their lives, enjoying their careers and expensive toys and nice homes and families as if nothing ever happened.
And the majority of these socially shielded rapists were married—they were NOT “lonely and just looking for some company.”
And yet WHO do their rich white wives/ex-wives hate, resent and blame and wish death on because of what their husbands, fathers, brothers and sons were doing to poor throw-away and trafficked women and kids upon whom this unwanted outsourced sex was forced upon?
Me. And not just me—ALL the VICTIMS of commercial rape (which is exactly what prostitution really is).
And it’s not like these smug privileged handmaidens—these john protectors and enablers—didn’t know what was being done to us by their men. They knew because we are the ones whom they knowingly had the luxury and privilege of outsourcing unwanted sex onto.
And yet these trick wives hate us—the VICTIMS of sex trafficking—who were the unwilling recipients of that outsourced sex. They resent us just for being there for their precious Nigel to abuse, humiliate, rape and degrade in exchange for money we weren’t allowed to keep.
WE are the ones who did not have the privilege of having boundaries and a right to the language of “NO!” and a right to refuse.
Yet they hate and blame us for it. At best, they look down on us as “fallen women”, as children of a lesser god, while holding their noses far above the trafficking victims they “minister to” who were unjustly condemned to the brutal realities of street life and torture without any due process—something else that “The Rules” say all American citizens, including poor trafficked women, are entitled to.
No one can ever convince me that the johns, these filthy rapist scum—AND their handmaidens, their supporters, protectors and enablers—are not the biggest part, if not the entire cause, of the problem here. Because not a single pimp or human trafficker would be in business if not for privileged people’s dollars enriching them in the first place while the victims of this crime against humanity are stigmatized and repeatedly punished and ostracized, FOR LIFE.
A pox on all their houses!
Jacqueline S. Homan, author of Without Apology and Classism for Dimwits
An anti-trafficking activist shared an article in a Facebook anti-trafficking group addressing how orphans are particularly vulnerable socially and economically to human traffickers for exploitation in the commercial rape industry.
Yep. No Earth-shattering news there. Children who enjoy the least opportunities, social value and status and family protection are ripe prey for pimps and traffickers. I can totally relate. I was orphaned. And because I was orphaned, female and POOR, this whole society threw me away right into the clutches of traffickers and left me there to die, long before there ever was an anti-trafficking movement.
And instead of taking any measure to make any of this right for me throughout the past 30 years that I had been struggling just to NOT die from poverty since escaping from my traffickers, this society continues to hide its failures behind abusive social and economic policies, laws and unfair and discriminatory employment practices that blame the victim.
“Fallen woman” my ass—I was PUSHED. And if we’re honest about it, “pushed” is putting it very mildly. “Pushed” is something that kids do at the pool. Deliberately discarded and condemned to SLAVERY and slapped with lifelong dehumanizing stigma and total social exclusion (for those lucky to escape and survive) is more accurate.
The hatred and stigmatization of commercial rape victims resulting in the economic abuse of life threatening jobless poverty forces many to return to prostitution where they end up dying in “the life”—the average life expectancy for victims/survivors of commercial rape is only 34 in the US.
And what does society—including many of the privileged “do-gooders” getting donations and government funding for their “faith-based” anti-trafficking NGO’s—do when the women and kids they “rescued” are left homeless and unable to support themselves after leaving “faith-based” safehouse facilities because NO ONE will give them a chance for a real job, or allow them to rent an apartment, and no one will welcome them into their workplaces and into the community because “we don’t serve your kind?”
They go Pontius Pilate. They wash their hands of it. It’s no longer their problem and “we can only pray for them”, they say.
And when destitute pre-movement survivors—who have been PREVENTED from being able to get ANY chances at all for jobs with livable incomes to survive with just a little bit of human dignity for YEARS after escaping our traffickers, as opposed to struggling just to NOT DIE FROM POVERTY—are forced to BEG for money just to get SOME of our basic unmet needs met, we are told to “look to god to provide” by comfortably-off, privileged people who cannot seem to practice what they preach by giving away their money, their cars, and their nice houses filled with nice things to the poor disprivileged women with nothing whom they’re “ministering to” and then “looking to god to provide” in order to replace their stuff and meet their own basic needs.
This is how poor survivors with ZERO privilege are often treated by the very same people who raise millions in charity fundraising drives that never seem to go directly to resource-starved survivor-run organizations and to neglected older survivors in need of real material support and a real helping hand up (without the judgments and sermons and browbeating).
Too many people with privilege seem to feel that it’s OK to blame the victims, and look down on us and talk down to us with assumed superiority. Too many feel justified in using us for their own agenda, including using this movement as a platform for their war on women’s access to birth control and other forms of misogynistic abuse and re-exploitation.
Many feel that by “serving” in the anti-trafficking movement they can buy the right to be selfishly myopic by going out on “prayer walks” instead of actually giving up some of their privileges, comforts and luxuries to provide the social and economic resources needed to exit for the “fallen women” trapped in prostitution whom they are “ministering to.”
And of course, they deliberately ignore the pre-anti-trafficking movement survivors whose needs continue to go unmet.
People think that women and girls are trafficked because poor women are too mentally defective or culturally brainwashed and morally inferior and that this was how they ended up in the commercial rape trade.
They persist in pretending that there are NO other forces acting on commercial rape victims—like the socially constructed barriers of poverty, institutionalized misogyny, discrimination and abusive social and economic policy that put them there in the first place—all which act in synergy to ensure there is never any other place in society for POOR women, for abused, unwanted and unvalued women and girls, except the gutter and an early grave.
And as a 47 year old survivor of commercial rape who escaped from my traffickers thirty years ago when I was 17, I will NOT shut up about this compounding of injustice until this is made right.
Justice does not descend from its own pinnacle.
As an impoverished trafficking survivor with NO income, fighting for human dignity to abolish slavery and fighting for restorative justice for those of us who are struggling for our lives and basic human rights as victims of an industry of sexual torture, slavery, and the added oppression of stigmatization which has barred me from any employment in post-Welfare Reform America, your support is desperately needed so I may have a chance to rebuild my life, mentor other poor trafficking victims who want to learn software development, and continue my work in educating the public about this very important human rights issue. Please donate to support my work and my quest for restorative justice. Thank you.
Jacqueline S. Homan
A “feminist” scolded her sisters for being righteously indignant about the capo-like behavior of patriarchy’s handmaidens and honorary men, saying that being critical of women who deliberately throw their sisters under the wheels of patriarchy’s shit train distracts from the primary focus of feminism. She says that discrediting these capos doesn’t do anything to help women as a class.
Well, I have a LOT to say about that.
Although it’s true that women didn’t initiate patriarchy, and although it’s also true that some women’s bad behavior is not the same as men’s behavior under male supremacy because of the undeniable power differential, failing to publicly discredit honorary men does a far greater disservice to feminism and to women as a class by giving these handmaidens a free pass just because “they’re women, too.”
Women who use their relative, albeit male-bequeathed, privileges to slam the glass ceiling’s trap door shut on all their other sisters, hurting disempowered and marginalized women the most, and who are NOT challenged for it by feminists, isolate and silence women whom they are consciously and deliberately helping the patriarchy to oppress and crush underfoot. It is women like that, especially if they claim to be feminists (which is supposed to be about liberating ALL women from male oppression) who are harming the feminist mission of women’s liberation — far more so than the het women and libfems who are fighting in the trenches for women’s liberation from male-imposed PIV and childbirth chattel slavery.
What would a poor, homeless teen girl think about “feminists” and feminism in general if women like Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann, Sharron Angle, or Kathleen Passidomo are given a free pass by feminists for using their positions of power and privilege within patriarchy to force her to give birth to her rapist’s progeny because these successful, highly educated and politically well-positioned women acting as honorary men were defended by those who claim to be all about ending women’s oppression?
Would that woman or girl who is forced to go through pregnancy and childbirth against her will, no matter the physical and psychological harm to her, feel included as part of the very same oppressed group that feminists claim to be trying to liberate?
The Rosetta Stone of women’s oppression by men as a class IS forced pregnancy/childbirth, whether a woman is het or lesbian. And just because a woman is het, does that mean that forced childbirth is something she “deserves?”
When a 13-year-old girl asked Sharron Angle, a Nevada Republican Congressional candidate and retired public school teacher, if she would bend her “pro-life” stance to make an exception for rape and asked what she would say to a 13 yr old rape victim who got pregnant, Angle told the girl that the victim should be forced to carry that pregnancy to term and “just learn how to make lemonade out of the lemons life handed her.” What kind of message about feminism and feminists is being sent to women and girls when some feminists silently defend (or excuse) women like Sharron Angle for “being a victim of patriarchy, too?”
What message does it send to the average woman or underage girl who doesn’t want to be forced to give birth against her will when the liberators of women won’t speak out against women using their administrative, judicial or legislative (or even their basic voting power) to pass laws to force childbirth on her, when the liberators don’t even pretend to fight for HER human rights — namely the right to NOT be conscripted into forced organ donation (which is what forced pregnancy/childbirth really is). The right to bodily autonomy and bodily integrity form the first pillar of bioethics, and also form the basis of the United Nations Declaration of Human Rights and are outlined the United Nations Convention Against Torture. In fact, the legal language in the UN Convention Against Torture defines “torture” to include “rape, sexual assault, and forced pregnancy.”
When former vice presidential candidate and Alaskan governor Sarah Palin passed a law in her state forcing rape victims to pay for their own rape kits at about $1,200 a clip and signed other laws that put access to birth control and safe legal abortion out of reach for underage girls and poor and working class women, what kind of message to the majority of women — who are far more socio-economically class-oppressed than Sarah Palin on top of being sex-oppressed — are feminists sending when they say that Sarah Palin isn’t to blame for using her office to strip the majority of our sisters of basic human rights, including her own daughter’s, just to further her political career in patriarchy?
How is defending women who are enemies of women helpful to feminism’s goal of ending male oppression of women? How many “average Janes” is it acceptable to sacrifice so as to not hurt the feelings of a few honorary men and handmaidens who sacrificed their own daughters on the patriarchal altar of this phallocracy?
Most women and girls don’t have a fraction of the privileges and power (even if it is male-assigned) that Sarah Palin, Sharron Angle, Michele Bachmann, and Kathleen Passidomo (who publicly called 11-year-old gang rape victims “prostitutes”) have. How is throwing the majority of women and girls under the bus consistent with the core tenets and principles of feminism? In order to stay focused on liberating women as a class from the oppression by men as a class, feminists cannot excuse or defend the harm inflicted by these honorary men by saying that “they are not like men.” That defeats the whole purpose of feminism. Putting it bluntly: It’s pissing up a crooked rope.
You cannot help women as a class by throwing the majority of women and girls under the bus for the sake of a few handmaidens who don’t want to be liberated (and who don’t want the rest of us to be liberated either) because they’re more than happy to serve in the ranks of patriarchy’s phalanx of Stepford capos because they’ve sold their souls for some lentil soup in exchange for doing men’s dirty work.
That “feminists can’t criticize other women” crap is precisely what helped cause the 30+ year erosion of the few hard-won rights for ALL women to have access to birth control and safe legal abortion (which are major life-savers for women) to the point where we’re at today where not only are America’s poorest women (who number in the tens of millions) without access to birth control and safe legal abortion, but rape victims are being FORCED to give birth against their will while lawmakers and others in positions or privilege and power have denied America’s poorest women food, cash support, and medical care on top of legalizing rape [e.g., Pennsylvania House Bill No. 2718] by making it practically impossible for a woman to prove she was raped — in a society that says she “asked for it”; a society that threw 300+ women in prison to date for the “crime” of having a stillbirth or miscarriage. A society that supports rapists over victims, and tells junior high and high school girls that they must share their locker room, shower and sauna with someone who has a penis in the name of “transgendered rights.” A society in which women suffering fatal pregnancy complications are left to suffer and die and “bleed out” in 1 out of 6 US hospital emergency rooms as a matter of policy because some hospital administrators’/executives’/doctors’ right to “freedom of religion” trumps pregnant women’s human rights to life, bodily autonomy, and bodily integrity — contravening the federal law that was supposed to prevent these abuses ( the federal Emergency Medical Treatment and Labor Act, or EMTALA), as well as the United Nations Convention against Torture, which the United States ratified in 1994.
The War on Women was not launched by a couple of fringe crackpots in the Republican Party without a huge groundswell of entrenched misogyny and self-centeredness of a whole society of accomplices — including women with a significant degree of political clout, and social and financial capital who, in the name of feminism, defend the enemies of feminism and in doing so, silence the very people whom feminism is supposed to be helping: the overwhelming majority of women who are stuck between the shit and the stink of having to make choiceless choices within the dictates of patriarchy just to be able to survive.
And what are these choiceless choices? Answer: Survival sex (the sex trade). Or attaching themselves to male partners and breadwinners under male terms and conditions in order to survive. Compulsory PIV sex without condoms. Mandatory childbirth (for lack of access to birth control and abortion), which even reduces what few low-paying job opportunities within the pink-collar ghetto that are available to most women which in turn forces economic dependence on abusive, selfish males or the practically non-existent and grossly inadequate welfare benefits (which poor women are begrudged).
Why defend the female enemies of women who are the willing and eager tools of patriarchy when they could have chosen NOT to be, in the name of an abstract ideology that is not being put into real down-to-earth practice to help ALL women? How does that extinguish the inferno of patriarchy when it silences the victims of it, leaving the majority of women behind to fend for themselves while telling them in so many words, “Sorry sister, you’re on your own to liberate yourself” — just because the delicate sensibilities of a few faux feminists, handmaidens and honorary men are more important than ending patriarchy by attacking the oppressor (men) AND the oppressor’s willing agents?
Women who care about women don’t bat for Team Patriarchy, or defend those who do — even though women are not like men.
A long-distance friendship with Jayson Fleury has changed my life forever. Jayson is a Saulteaux-Cree story-teller, a social justice activist, and the brother of Mona Lee Wilson who died at the hands of a serial killer — leaving her two children orphaned.
Jayson is often angry, and with good reason. As he once apologetically told me he is “a little rough around the edges.” But when he laughs it is hearty and genuine; and when he smiles, he has a smile that would melt your heart.
If more people cared enough about making a better society that was more humane and a lot less cruel and violent, maybe Jayson’s younger sister — and all the other murdered women that went missing — would be alive today. Everyone should take a moment to seriously think about what sort of society they want to live in.
My friendship with Jayson began about a month or so ago. I reached out to him through Facebook after researching aggressive violent crimes and their link to the architecture of aggression that our society really is, when I learned of the most horrific serial killer in North American history: Robert “Willie” Pickton.
For those who are unaware, Robert “Willie” Pickton and at least one other “associate” lured poor and homeless women (many whom resorted to the exploitative sex trade to survive) to his Port Coquitlam pig farm in western Canada on the outskirts of Vancouver. He butchered his victims like livestock, putting parts of their bodies through a wood-chipper and grinding them up to feed to his hogs. He mixed some of their ground up remains with some of his processed pork sausages, and disposed of an unknown amount of their remains at an animal waste rendering plant.
His killing spree spanned well over a decade before a search warrant for his property was finally executed for illegal weapons resulting in his arrest upon the grisly find of Mona Wilson’s head and feet in a garbage can in his slaughterhouse. Pickton admitted to killing 49 women, yet he was only charged and convicted of murdering six of them.
A Facebook friend of Jayson Fleury’s posted a video (which I also posted on my own Facebook page) of a short Canadian media interview with Jayson and his older sister, Lisa Bigjohn regarding their lack of closure in the loss of their younger sister whose killer(s) could have been apprehended before she became one of his last victims — if only the police had acted on the several prior tips from different people that they received over the years.
But the police bungling was part and parcel of the broader social dynamics of racism, classism, and normalized misogyny that make it OK for women to be murdered — especially poor women forced out of economic necessity into the sex trade due to a legacy of ongoing discrimination and lack of viable alternatives.
The prevalent societal attitude is that the victims of social predators like Gary Leon Ridgeway (the Green River killer) and Robert Pickton “asked for it” due to their “risky lifestyle choice.” It is this ideology that dismisses the savage realities of poverty, discrimination, and injustice in a competitive capitalist society in which poor women are dehumanized and devalued — especially poor aboriginal women. Poor women are viewed as nothing more than disposable toys to be abused and discarded at the whim of their “purchasers” who have benefited unjustly from a knapsack of unearned privileges.
Jayson Fleury’s sister and all the other women who met horrific deaths at the hands of social predators were not targeted for their “risky lifestyles.” If that were the case, then why aren’t storm chasers (like moi) targeted? Chasing down an F-5 tornado, trying to catch a twister by its tail, is a very risky lifestyle choice, is it not? What about Formula One race car drivers? Why aren’t they targeted because of their risky behavior? How about skydivers who knowingly agree to incur internal organ and tissue damage caused by the force of several g’s from trying to set new records for time in free-fall at terminal velocity (about 200 mph or 90 m/s)?
There is a huge difference between choosing any of these activities versus “choosing” survival sex for lack of options in a society that never provided enough living wage jobs or adequate social income support where poor women are denied chances for a decent life, including opportunities for skilled trades training and hiring in good-paying male-dominated jobs.
No little girl aspires to become a prostitute when she grows up.
No little girl looks forward to ending up as another sad statistic without a face.
No woman should ever have to choose between abuse, dysfunction, and poverty and the violent exploitative sex trade in order to survive and/or support their children.
No woman deserves to be dehumanized and commodified in life and slated for death without dignity.
Being a feminist is not only about fighting for women’s access to reproductive choice with a full range of reliable contraception and an abortion if necessary; it’s about also fighting for the social and economic valuing of women who are mothers and promoting respect for all women’s human rights. It’s also about securing the right to safe and non-traumatizing, pain-free childbearing that is woman-centered. And it is about fighting for a society in which no woman is left behind.
On August 4 2009, George Sodini shot up a gym full of women at an aerobic’s class before turning the gun on himself in the suburbs of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Within days of the shooting that left 3 women dead and 9 wounded, including the pregnant aerobics instructor, George Sodini’s online diary of his sexual frustration at being a “beta” male and his hatred for women and plans to go on a killing spree was made widely known.
Sodini was also a member the PUA community (Pick Up Artists) which advise men on how to lie/coerce/harass their way in between women’s legs (this is called “game.”) And it turns out that he had subscribed to huckster R. Don Steel’s seminars advising older beta males on how to “score” pretty young women that are young enough to be their daughters.
Unfortunately, there is a large pool of men out there with this entitlement attitude; and they’re mostly of the white and selfish middle to upper-middle class flavor.
One blog comprised of this “community” of males is riddled with over a thousand comments from men who hailed Sodini as a “hero” for teaching women a lesson: namely that not giving men — no matter how socially repulsive and hateful towards women — their “right” to sexual satisfaction, dead women are the “tax” society will have to pay. One poster, “Arpagus” said regarding Sodini:
I am calling him a hero for being a symbol for the consequences of denying men sex, not for killing those women. Obviously they didn’t personally deserve it. But something like this has to happen, perhaps hundreds of times over again, before feminists get the message. As Bhetti observed, it can easily go the other way and create more anti-male sentiment instead. There probably won’t be much sympathy, but maybe fear. From reading his blog it is so clear-cut that celibacy was the problem. (No wonder it has been taken down.) And even fear of the “nice guy” is an improvement. Fear can cause social change even if sexually frustrated men always will be met with the attitude that they don’t deserve to get laid and are basically human garbage as Bhetti believes.
I know the feminist media will try to emphasize his other issues and downplay the sexual frustration. Even so, his other issues mostly seem to result from an absent father (who was just a “sperm donor” in his words), and that is not supposed to be a problem according to the feminists either. So either way this is good press for the MRA movement.
These men all have one thing in common: they view women as “less than”, as objects less deserving of equal human and civil rights, and as something they have a “divine right” to.
One male poster, “whiskey”, who is probably only marginally slightly less selfish and Neanderthalic than the rest, said that men are not “investing in women” and this is the crux of the problem. But he still missed the boat. I responded with a post of my own. However, given that that blog is misogynist central and moderated, I don’t expect my reply to be published. Therefore, I am posting it here:
Viewing women as nothing more than reproductive chattel, as fuck holes that exist only for men’s benefit and sexual pleasure (while it’s to hell with our sexual pleasure, including our right to prevent unintended pregnancy which ruins our bodies and risks our health and lives — only to end up having to fight for child support); and viewing women as things to own instead of as equal partners of a species is not the way to “invest in women.”
Treating women like the human beings we are whose needs and feelings matter is a damn good start. But I am not seeing that from any of the men posting here.
Instead, I am seeing women being called “cunts”, “bitches”, “cameltoes”, “jezebel twats”, and “dumbasses” along with other pejoratives — all which imply that women somehow deserve to be punished for being children of a lesser god, that we aren’t even human enough in these men’s eyes for any kind of harm to us to matter.
According to the most recent census data, there are 44 million Americans living below the federal poverty level — 84% whom are women. Many are ending up permanently disabled or dying prematurely for lack of access to basic resources and things like medical and dental care.
Jobs considered “women’s work” don’t pay enough to live on, yet women who aren’t “pretty and thin enough” who get left on the shelf have no choice but to work to support themselves, and often a child or two (thanks to mostly beta “pump and dumpers”), and we don’t get to pay less to do all that than a man.
Yet, the majority of men posting here want all the free sex they can get (from only the most perfect-looking young babes) while promoting job discrimination, imbalanced power relationships in marriage/divorce, and the impoverishment of all women, while us women get nothing in return — not even the benefit of a commitment and equal access to the marital assets, including the checking account, and something “extra” for us once in awhile even though the men are entitled to their young mistresses on the sly, their expensive toys and hobbies while we get nothing. And that is somehow “fair?”
Listen up misogynists and selfish nitwits of all stripes who bitch about not “getting any”: everything isn’t all about you.
There is a lot of prejudice against fat women, against plain-looking women, against older women, against poor people, and against disabled people. There is also a stereotype that assigns such people to the category of “unfucakable”, or at least, “asexual.”
Yet many of us who fall into one or more of those categories end up having fulfilling sex lives and marriages. Is everything a bed of roses? No. But no one has a perfect life. That’s an illusion; just like our “meritocracy” and the American Dream.
George Sodini and these Mens’ Rights Advocates and PUA’s are a large part of the problem, not so much the victims of it. They see women as commodities with which to attain a higher social status in our class-stratified capitalistic society — a “trophy” with which to keep score of their masculinity, not as human beings.
There is a serious disconnect between their hatred of women and their desire for women. But they only desire women as inanimate sex toys that double as “arm candy” to inflate their egos, and then they wonder why they can’t “score” with the women who they claim to hate. By being selfish and inconsiderate, they’ve made themselves “unfuckable.”
No woman wants to go to bed with a man who really doesn’t give a shit about her — not even enough to ensure she enjoys the sex too, and enough to respect her right to not risk unwanted pregnancy which puts her body, wellbeing and life 100% at risk, not the man’s. It does not matter how much or little he makes or how “fit and trim” he looks.
George Sodini had so much more than 80% of those in this country who struggle, suffer in poverty (one paycheck away from homelessness) without access to health and dental care, never mind a decent house and a car. He had more than most in America ever got/will get the chance to have. He had a six figure a year salary at a cushy job with health and dental benefits, a nice car, a house in a middle class area, and a net worth of $250,000.
How many women in poverty would love to have the privilege of a nice smile with their natural teeth, like George Sodini, but don’t due to a real lack of equal opportunity for middle class jobs with health and dental benefits and many women don’t find a middle class male willing to commit and provide her with that via his good job? Let’s put things into perspective here.
These men are not being sexually ghettoized because of being poor, disabled, or physically repulsive. It’s more likely that they’re not getting laid because they’re misogynists who treat women like meatpuppets they somehow feel “entitled” to “have”; rather than treating women like people. We as a society need to start evolving beyond this patriarchal privilege shit and treat each other with respect, as human beings worthy of love, affection, and sex — not as a “score” or as a special class who is “owed” something that others are somehow not. As for the element out there who consider certain classes of people as “unfuckable”, you don’t have to participate in that.
When your goal is not to meet people to get to know, talk with, hang out with and maybe sleep with, but instead just to meet someone “hot” to masturbate inside of; you’re not trying to meet a person. You’re trying to meet an object, a thing, a sperm receptacle. You’re not looking for a hot girlfriend because you find her interesting and sexually attractive. You’re looking for a disposable fuck trophy. There’s no deeper, more debased commodification than that. It is important to recognize the link between this commodification of every aspect of our lives, and especially of an entire group of people (women) within capitalism’s architecture of aggression and competitiveness which reduces our collective humanity.
In this Rachel Maddow episode, Oklahoma’s new law that targets women and abortion providers for harassment and violence. No other similar laws are being passed that target men’s reproductive issues. No other laws are being passed that compromise men’s private and personal medical information.
“Unto the woman He said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.” ~ Geneisis 3:16
Religion — especially the patriarchal monotheistic varieties — institutionalized sexism, racism, and classism in an architecture of aggression. It begins in Genesis with the “original sin” — a story about victim blaming, and a violent lust for power and control. In sum, the story in Genesis is used to legitimize cruelty, abuse, oppression, male abrogation of personal responsibility, dominance over women, and violent subjugation.
Whenever women tried to rise up and challenge this, men pointed to the Pope and to the Protestant reformers Martin Luther and John Calvin, citing the Bible as “proof” of their “divine right.”
The blaming of women for the entrance of sin into the world in Genesis 3:16 has led to more oppression of women than any other. Throughout history, men in societies dominated by Abrahamic religions got a free pass to be abusive assholes who were absolved of any responsibility for their actions — by a divine right which came from a religious doctrine centered on a male god.
Early church “doctor” Tertullian wrote regarding women: “And do you not know that you are each an Eve? You are the devil’s gateway. You are the unsealer of the forbidden tree. You are the first deserter of the divine law.”
Fiery charismatic reformer John Calvin described women as: “…more guilty than the man, because she was seduced by Satan, and so diverted her husband from obedience to God that she was an instrument of death leading to all perdition. It is necessary that woman recognize this…This is reason enough why today she is placed below and that she bears within her ignominy and shame.”
No wonder that rape remains the only crime where the victim becomes the criminal. And it is no wonder that many today feel perfectly justified in denying women access to reliable contraceptives and abortion, forcing women to submit to compulsory pregnancy and childbirth — this is somehow OK. No wonder the happiness, health, wellbeing, and lives of women are subordinated to that of the fetus (or potential fetus) — a potential human, in favor of an already born one (the woman).
Religion — especially patriarchal Abrahamic monotheism — has been a boon for men, but a real bust for women. Combining the “women as property” and “women as seducers” propaganda yields what? A sense of entitlement to dominate and censor female sexuality any way possible while being fully endorsed by patriarchal religion.
Words do not just communicate fact, they create fact. Language is the Rosetta Stone upon which a society is organized and structured; how norms and mores become codified within the culture. When weaponized language is used to normalize injustice, suffering results. Normalizing cruelty, abuse, and discrimination is how abuse is justified. And this is precisely what the most prominent dogmas and “holy” books to.
Consider These Statements:
1. Cancer patients do not have the right to safe and effective pain relief because pain is a natural consequence of cancer, and cancer is a naturally occurring human condition.
2. Those in burn units who are responsible for their injuries have no right to effective pain relief or compassion. If they don’t like it, they shouldn’t have burned themselves.
3. Encourage surgical patients to forego pain relief both during and after surgery. Instead, have a staff member provide one-on-one “coaching” and encouragement to not get effective pain relief. Patients should be counseled to think of their suffering as “good pain”, and be encouraged to “work with the pain”, and to embrace an **”altered state of consciousness.”** Infer that any patient needing pain relief is a weak-minded failure. [**This “altered state of consciousness” is dissociation and dissociative amnesia. It is a human response to severe physical and psychological trauma and should be avoided — NOT encouraged!]
4. Hospital policy should ensure that all palliative care patients ask at least twice before their request for pain relief is considered. If death is imminent, consider denying the request.
5. Trauma sustained during torture and food deprivation results in damaged bodies and damaged psyches. Depositing a large sum of money in their bank account will make them forget all about it.
6. Psychiatric studies show that pre-rape classes reduce the terror victims feel during and after rape.
In a civilized society, these statements and ideas would beggar belief and be ridiculed and loudly challenged. They are offensive, insensitive, and cruel. But because abuse and unnecessary suffering has been normalized for women, largely because of centuries of influence the words in the Bible have wielded, there’s a double standard.
Consider These Same Statements, ideas, and Policies Regarding the Care of Pregnant Women Before, During, and After Giving Birth:
1. Maternity patients do not have the right to safe and effective pain relief because pain is a natural consequence of childbirth and childbirth is a natural thing for women to endure.
2. Women who get pregnant should not expect choice in delivery options, nor should they get pain relief or compassion. If they don’t like it, they should have kept their legs shut.
3. Encourage maternity patients to forego pain relief during and after childbirth. Instead, have a staff member provide one-on-one encouragement to not get effective pain relief. Patients should be encouraged to think of their suffering as “good pain”, as “empowering”, and to “work with the pain” and to enbrace an **”altered state of consciousness.”** Infer that any woman struggling with labor who expects pain relief is a weak-minded failure.
4. Hospital and midwifery policy should ensure that all maternity patients ask at least twice before their request for pain relief is considered. If birth is imminent, consider denying the request.
5. Trauma sustained during childbirth results in damaged bodies and damaged psyches. As soon as you put her baby in her arms, the mom will forget all about it.
6. Psychiatric studies show that pre-natal/childbirth education classes reduce the terror women feel during and after childbirth.
These notions should beggar belief, but they actually reflect past and present obstetrical attitudes and policies, and have done so for the past several decades. In many obstetric circles in the US and other western nations, these ideas are still widely accepted. After centuries of this barbaric belief in a sick book written by sick men about a sick god, such beliefs became codified into laws and policies — even in the medical field.
A “prize”, no matter how wonderful, does not cure physical and psychological trauma in ANY situation. Offensive statements like those above isolate and further traumatize the trauma victims. Monetary compensation does not cure PTSD for torture survivors. You don’t tell someone who has lost his legs that he should be grateful he didn’t lose his arms. It is no different for women who have suffered trauma in childbirth.
The experience of the birth and the baby are two separate things. The attitude that a healthy baby makes women forget the trauma of their childbirth experience is bullshit. Women carry that experience with them for life. Fatalism and stoicism are not the same as “getting over it.”
Denying women ownership and control over their own bodies by denying them access to affordable reliable contraceptives and abortion; and denying women adequate pain relief during childbirth without a scientifically valid reason (and there really isn’t any) — is legitimized misogyny.
Systemic discrimination always involves the belief that a certain sub-group of the human race is not deserving of equal rights and humane treatment. They are considered inferior. What is unacceptable for other humans is considered acceptable for the group being discriminated against. Underlying all obstetrical bias is misogyny.
We can thank the influence in all aspects of life that the Bible wields for much of this. In the very first book, in the story of the “original sin”, we are told that women are predestined to have to suffer pain (along with possible permanent disability and death) in childbirth (whether a woman wants to be pregnant or not) in order to be redeemed for “loosing sin unto the world.”
No matter how you look at it, you cannot get equality out of the Bible. It’s a doctrine that begins with the premise that a perfect, all-knowing, ever-present and “loving” god created the world just for man to take dominion over. And everything was perfect until woman introduced “sin” into the world, so it is only just that this “god” punish her more severely than the talking snake and the man for his part in eating this forbidden fruit. And part of women’s punishment, according to the Bible, is to accept being condemned to second-class status and to accept having to endure pregnancy (whether she wants to or not) and suffer excruciating pain in childbirth.
Christians, Muslims, and Jews believe in this part of the Bible. And since Christians believe that the Bible is an inviolable truth, they believe this part of it too. And it is this belief in this part that is the most responsible for indifference to the suffering and abuse of women and girls across the nation.
For all the claims that religion brought comfort to so many such that the injustices and cruelties inspired by it don’t matter is offensive. hate speech books like “Protocols of the Elders of Zion” and treatises on Holocaust revisionism also undoubtedly provide some people with comfort. But since when should the la-la-land denial that brings such “comfort” be permitted to trump the injustices and abuse it has posed for so many others who didn’t derive any comfort from it?